Every year about this time in May we all start to ask that same question; what will we do for Mother’s Day?
We all love and appreciate our Moms and we want to honor them and give to them from our very best; but thinking of something new and fresh after so many years often becomes a bit overwhelming.
STAY TRUE TO YOUR OWN FAMILY VALUES
The best advice I can offer is please do NOT try to keep up with the Jones!
Your family is unique to you and your family. Do what fits them and makes them happy; including, of course; Mom!
REALIZE HOW UNIQUE YOUR MOM IS
Got a Mom who likes to go fishing? Don’t waste your time taking her out to a fancy restaurant. Got a Mom who enjoys movies? Don’t make her socialize all day – just take her to the theater and keep her happy and relaxed. In other words; plan the things for your Mom around your Mom’s personality instead of all the pretty pictures you see on Pinterest!
Today’s Mom’s actually enjoy a lot more things than fine restaurants, flowers, shopping and spas! If you have let the media push in this direction; but your Mom really isn’t into those things; it is time to re-think your thinking about this day. I will help you with those thoughts this week in The IN SEASON Lifestyle Blog.
IT IS GODLY TO HONOR OUR MOTHERS
God said to honor our parents. This is so important to God that He made it one of the ten commandments! Ephesians 6:2-3 tells us: “Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise) “that it may go well with you and that you may be long-lived on the earth.” Sure sounds like a win/win situation to me!
NOTHING IS EVER AS SIMPLE AS IT SOUNDS
Often though; it just isn’t that simple!
If your family is a little un-traditional; like mine, the big question of what to do can get very complicated. Don’t misunderstand the intention of my statement. When I say un-traditional I simply mean we deal with divorce situations. That is my own particular “un-traditional;” but there are many more types of not so “cookie cutter” families out there dealing with all types of situations. My heart especially goes out during this season to those who have just recently lost their Mothers. This year will not be easy for those families.
For most of us, the thoughts of Mother’s Day isn’t as simple as the way it all first started out; with Dad taking the kids to pick out a card that they all can sign and everyone letting Mom sleep late then surprising her with breakfast in bed.
SUCH IS LIFE IN THIS MODERN WORLD WHICH WE LIVE IN
Families grow and evolve . Making the schedules work for everyone and keeping it simple and uncomplicated just isn’t that easy anymore.
Now days, for most of us; the art of appreciating the very special day for what it truly is meant to be has to be carefully developed and thoughtfully planned from all angles.
Life is always throwing us curves.
DEALING WITH BUDGETS
For some; all of this “thoughtful planning” just isn’t in the budget. Thoughts may be free; but carrying them out usually requires cash.
I have some good news for those of you who are facing this; no one understands or appreciates that fact more than your Mom!
Buy a sweet card, sign it with a nice note and simply show up with a smile. I promise you it will be a day you will always remember. You can’t buy love; I tell this to my kids all the time.
YOU CAN’T BUY OR MANUFACTURE TIME
Then there are those that have the money in the budget; but the time is hard to come by.
So many people work 24/7 in the world we live in. This isn’t always a personal choice anymore. A lot of the time this type of work schedule is simply a matter of survival, especially for those just starting out in life.
How many mother’s out there have kids working two or three jobs this year? Please remember to thank God that they are trying to be responsible citizens and provide for their families and their futures.
When you work like this however; even if it is just a temporary situation; scheduling anything can add stress to an already too stressful day.
Suggestion: Call your Mom about a week before Mother’s Day and invite her to attend something with you that DOES fit your schedule; even if it goes six months into the future. Tell her it is her Mother’s day treat; but it couldn’t fall on the day that you are scheduled to be working.
I promise you; she will be flexible and cherish the thought that you planned something in spite of your crazy life.
When the day comes around remember to keep it! Make it as special as you can. Take in a movie; go to lunch together; just do something at some point that was planned BEFORE Mother’s day happened; even if it isn’t on THE day. Also be sure to call her on that day and wish her well.
CARDS ARE A VERY GOOD WAY TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
In this type of situation; icing on the cake would be to mail a sweet card with a handwritten note to arrive on the Saturday BEFORE the day she will be without you. The card could even include tickets or a “save this date for me” note.
MOTHERS ALWAYS APPRECIATE FLOWERS
If you are feeling really bad; send a pretty bouquet for her table; and call around to make sure someone in the family makes sure she is occupied and happy while you are away. It is never what you do that matters; it is always in the thoughtful way you do it. You’ve got this!
IT IS HARD TO BE TEN PLACES AT ONCE
There are those that do not have to work; but they can’t clone themselves. This is very typical all across the globe; but we humans tend to think we are the ONLY ones when it happens.
We are living in a world full of divorced parents. Most adult children are having to split their time several different ways; and if they are lucky and not too tired they will get time to enjoy the day a bit themselves.
This simply isn’t fair to young mothers and their little ones. Older Moms and Grandmothers; remember to be gentle. The grands need to be establishing patterns of celebrating Mother’s Day with their Moms first and their grandmother’s second.
On this day; no matter what; things will just have to happen in a way that works out best. Don’t stress or imagine that you are being overlooked. Think about the other 364 days of your year and smile. If you have children and grands; you are blessed!
YOUR DAUGHTERS NEED AN OPPORTUNITY TO ENJOY THEIR FAMILY TOO
How I loved those simpler times of sleeping in and wondering what the little ones would do to surprise me! I want my daughters to experience the same blessings with their families that I cherished with them.
MAKE YOUR PLANS; THEN BE FLEXIBLE
So this is a typical plan; it is actually what I personally want to try to coordinate at our house for this year on Mother’s Day:
Our kids are all grown. Two of them are Mother’s themselves. Everyone lives in a different neighborhood and everyone goes to a different church. One set of the family is even out-of-state. On Mother’s Day they all will be needing time for those special moments with their own families in their own homes.
Each of these now grown and very busy Moms have so many more than me to remember on THEIR special day. They have kids, husbands and Mother-In-Laws; and they have a lot of other responsibilities.
My own Mother is living alone; since my Father died a few years back; and we all also try to make special times with her on Mother’s Day. That, however; must be coordinated with my brother. All of us have a juggling act to do!
Plus; there is the fact that as a step-mother, I’ve always had to share this day with our children’s birth Mother. They are close to her too; even though all four of them lived with me and their Dad from their early elementary school days forward. Mother’s Day was always a juggling act when they were growing up. Usually they would all go to spend the day with their birth-Mom and her mother, and then they would come back home to see me that evening. At some point we all would see my Mom. Somehow it always worked out; but it was never very easy for anyone; including the kids.
I just THOUGHT those days were complicated!
Now that they are grown these adult Moms themselves must try to divide the day between more than the two of us. They have their mother-in-laws, (one of them is blessed with two MIL’s) and my Mom to think of too! Somehow they must figure out how to put the time with their own children first and foremost! After all; that is what the day is all about. It can get pretty frustrating and complicated; but they somehow always manage to do it with grace and love and wonderfulness. The way they handle life amazes me all the time. I’m always thanking God for how He raised them right!
As you can imagine; the scheduling of all of this can be a bit stressful; even from just my part of the equation.
My main objective on this day is simply to plan something special with my own Mom; and give the adult children the freedom to do whatever they decide they need to do. I always go in with low expectations; and usually come out of the day with high degrees of feeling loved and cherished; no matter what happens.
TRY TO PICK YOUR BEST WIN/WIN SITUATION AND GO WITH IT
This year I’ve decided to go with my Mom to early church on Mother’s Day morning and then bring her over to our house for a Mother’s Day tea/brunch afterward. It will be a fun time for all of us. I’ll invite my brother. That way we will be home for the bulk of the day, and anyone (children or grand children) who wants to come by to say “hello” is welcomed to join our company whenever it is convenient for them. Win/win. That is how I always try to live life these days.
Of course this plan puts me cooking and looking after someone else’s schedule on Mother’s Day; but that really doesn’t bother me at all; just sort of fits like an old shoe. My own Mom is very special and totally worth the effort! Most of the hard work on my part will be planned ahead I’m even going to plan out the Mother’s Day Tea and blog about it. So if it fits your day; come join in with me. Expect to see that blog at some point this week.
MOTHERS STILL NEED TO BE MOTHERS EVEN ON MOTHER’S DAY
Anyway; isn’t this just what Mothers do? They always look after and feed their loved ones. Aren’t we always the ones to make the special occasions happen? Why should we stop serving in our own purposeful roles on our own day? LOL.
IGNORE THE HYPE AND LET GO OF THE PRESSURE FOR PERFECTION
Honestly; like many of the rest of you; I’ve always thought the hype and pressure of this day can get to be a little over-rated. I’ve never worried about what happens too much; since my family has always been wonderful about making every day of my year very special, and they have never taken anything I’ve ever done for them for granted. With this in mind; I just take whatever family time God makes available and enjoy the day!
MY LITTLE SECRET
Okay, with all of that said; my conscience is bothering me a bit; so I’ll tell you another secret. On the Saturday before Mother’s Day I take a whole day for myself. (No gasps please!)
It starts by sleeping late. Then I go to get a haircut, a manicure and a pedicure. After that; I go shopping and buy myself a whole new spring outfit; even jewelry if I want. Lunch is eaten by myself (or with a girl friend doing all of these same things) and I buy take-out Chinese for dinner for my husband and myself that evening before Mother’s Day.
I confess; I’ve done this for years!
That evening I take a long hot bath and sip a glass of wine and put a good chick flick on the tube and just relax with my husband.
When the hectic schedule starts on Sunday – I’m totally refreshed and ready to enjoy the day.
(Please don’t let the cat out of the bag and tell my secret. It has made me happy for years and years now!)
IT IS ALL IN THE PLANNING
Of course that means I must do some careful and thoughtful planning during the week and rise EARLY on Sunday morning.
During the week I’m busy shopping for the groceries for my Mom’s meal, picking out her presents and preparing for the events we want to do with her.
I do a little housekeeping every day all week long and during the week the house gets decorated and polished up real pretty. By the time Saturday comes that heavy burden of not having a plan is totally gone, and I’m able to relax a bit and treat myself!
I learned a long time ago that good Moms make sure their own needs get met. Not one ounce of guilt will interfere with my day before Mother’s Day blessings! Mom’s – if you haven’t tried this secret yet; I dare you!
A LIFETIME OF LOVE CANNOT GET CRAMMED INTO ONE DAY
So; this one particular day of the year that Hallmark picked out for us; doesn’t exactly have to be perfect for me to feel loved. I hope you get that and feel the same.
If not; well you are free to keep living in Stepford…..(I thought that movie was great.)
JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND LOOK AROUND
In reality and looking back, I can honestly say that every day of my life with my family has always felt like a special Mother’s Day; even without all the help from Hallmark. All it takes to put a smile on my face these days is taking a deep breath and looking around the room at all the amazing and beautiful faces I’ve been blessed to love for so long and so well.
ALWAYS COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
On each passing Mother’s Day I always remember to count my blessings. I never forget that I went a long time divorced, single and childless.
There is certainly nothing wrong with either of those stages of life; but I will admit that a family surrounding you with love brings an unimaginable abundance into your days. God certainly replaces the years that the locust ate.
My house is now abundant and overflowing with love. The grands are my favorite part! In a very ironic way, Mother’s Day always serves as a reminder for me to offer up my thanks for them.
YOUR MOM CAN’T BE WITH YOU FOREVER – CHERISH THE TIME YOU HAVE
It is more important for me at this particular stage of our lives to make my own Mom feel loved and cherished. If it works out that I get to spend time with our children and grands too; that is like icing on the cake.
Something special always comes together; no matter how little or how much we plan it out.
LOOK FOR SOME INTERESTING BLOG POSTS THIS MOTHER’S DAY WEEK
As I’m making my own plans; you know I’m thinking of all my readers out there pondering how to make this day extra-special for their Moms. To honor those sweet thoughts; I’ve put together a week’s worth of Mother’s Day related blog posts that are chunk full of ideas and creative suggestions.
I hope you enjoy them and they give you as much pleasure as they gave me when I was putting it all together. This blogging thing surely helps me to keep my own priorities straight and stay focused on what really matters. If the sharing is helpful to others; all the better.
BE SURE TO CATCH MY BLOG ON THE VALUE OF A MOM
At some point this week The IN SEASON Lifestyle will be sharing a thought-provoking summary of just who a Mom really is. It will get your thinking cap to do a little heavy thinking about how much you love and appreciate your own Mom, and hopefully these sentiments will spark some special memories that will help you decide how to plan the big day for your own Mom. Thinking authentic thoughts always sets the stage to a Mother’s Day success story.
DON’T MISS THE BLOG THIS WEEK THAT IS FULL OF GIFT SUGGESTIONS
Another Mother’s Day blog during this week will be all about thoughtful ideas for your gifts. There are so many things you can do for Mom that she will really appreciate, and they do not have to break the budget. All it requires is a little old-fashioned wisdom, some vision and a lot of imagination. I think you will love the line up this year. Don’t forget to check the blog all during the week to find out.
YOU KNOW THE HOUSE DOCTOR WILL BE GETTING THE HOUSE READY TO CELEBRATE
To further set the mood for the coming Mother’s Day events, we will look together at some beautiful “welcome in decorations” for our homes. These will be great to use as we entertain Mom on her special day.
I’ve also laid out the plans for some very pretty and creative tablescape ideas that will be sure to turn Mom’s head and have her smiling all day long.
Since all Mom’s love flowers so much; we will consider some unique ways of pulling together some very special Mother’s Day floral arrangements.
On top of all that; we will study a few sweet and original ways to wrap all those wonderful gifts you will be bringing. Blog posts for the rest of this week will be special. Don’t miss them! Keep clicking in to theinseasonlifestyle.com for all of your Mother’s Day ideas.
MENUS AND RECIPES TO COME LATER THIS WEEK
If you need some Mother’s Day menus and recipes; at some point this week I’ll be sharing my 2017 Mother’s Day Lunch/Tea menus and recipes. The menu is fit for a queen and I’ll give step-by-step instructions and tips.
I hope all of these suggestions and creative ideas will make your Mother’s Day planning so much easier and possibly keep that stress level totally down. The thought is to turn the whole day into just a fun and exciting adventure.
BE SURE TO ENTER YOUR PHOTOS INTO THE IN SEASON LIFESTYLE’S PHOTO CONTEST
Don’t forget to take photos of you and your Mom when the big day arrives. Hold on to them because I’m going to post a Mother’s Day photo corner in my Newsletter at the end of May.
Send me the best and/or the most original photo shots of you and your Mom.. I’ll let my readers vote on the winning photo. The winner will receive a copy of my own original cookbook; THE SEASONS OF LANDGRAF CASTLE.
So be sure to e-mail a photo of you and your Mom celebrating along with a short summary of your day together.
Send your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll make the winning announcement in a blog post by the end of May; and post the winning photo in the June Newsletter. Yet another treat you can share with your precious Mom of her special day.
This will be a great week! Keep reading and don’t miss a thing.
NOTE TO THE READER: This is just the first of a whole series of Mother’s Day articles. If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy: https://theinseasonlifestyle.com/mothers-day-gifts/, https://theinseasonlifestyle.com/cake-tree/, https://theinseasonlifestyle.com/seasons-menu-mothers-day-luncheon/.