Every year about this time in May we all start to ask that same question; what will we do for Mother’s Day?

We all love and appreciate our Moms and we want to honor them and give to them from our very best; but thinking of something new and fresh after so many years often becomes a bit overwhelming.

STAY TRUE TO YOUR OWN FAMILY VALUES

The best advice I can offer is please do NOT try to keep up with the Jones!

Your family is unique to you and your family.  

Do what fits them and makes them happy; including, of course; the celebrating for your Mom!

REALIZE HOW UNIQUE YOUR MOM IS

Have you got a Mom who likes to go fishing?  Don’t waste your time taking her out to a fancy restaurant.  

Do you have a Mom who enjoys movies?  Don’t make her socialize all day – just take her to the theater and keep her happy and relaxed.  

In other words; plan the things for your Mom around your Mom’s own unique personality instead of all the pretty pictures you see on Pinterest!

Here is a real newsflash; today’s Mom’s actually enjoy a lot of other things besides fine restaurants, flowers, shopping and spas!  Those are all wonderful too; but they are simply not first choice for every single woman on earth.

If you have let the media push you in this direction yet your Mom really isn’t into those things; it is time to re-think your thinking about this day.  

I want to attempt to help you think outside the box a bit for Mother’s Day this year.  Mainly; because I’m going through the same complicated process right here beside you.  

There have been times when my Mom was recovering from two surgeries.  There is nothing typical about that type of  Mother’s Day.  You truly have to think outside the box on such times.  

Flowers might still work; but perhaps she got a lot of those when she was in the hospital.  Perhaps she also just had a birthday; so a lot of things (like jewelry and clothes) might have also already been given to her.  In such and similar cases what do you do?  

No amount of going out or scheduling fancy meals would please her during certain life situations.  It is highly possible that she will not be up to spending that much energy, and her meds make her appetite low.  Presents of the usual form  just seem to be useless in days of recovery.

So; just do something different.  

Order her a month’s worth of housekeeping/maid service.  

At least while she is immobile and going through so much painful physical therapy – she won’t be fretting about her house being a mess.  We went through this a few years ago in our family and she loved getting such a gift, especially when the services came from an unemployed daughter of one of her closest friends.  It was a win/win for all parties.

If you are in a similar situation; but you can’t spend this much on a professional housekeeping service – don’t worry about it.  Just rustle up a little extra amount of will-power and do that cleaning yourself.  Otherwise you could also order only one or two weeks worth of services instead of a whole month’s worth.  

In the case that you decide to do this yourself; it will probably be even more appreciated!  Some cannot choose such a path because they are working at their own jobs; so you have to do whatever works out best for your own family   I’m sure any Mom would rather have her family cleaning her house than a stranger.

We all have different situations to work through; but plenty of good solutions are out there when we just take the time to think it through.

Every mother needs something a little bit different and adult children as well as young ones are all out there trying their best to decide just what that is for this particular year!  

Every year is different in its own way so let’s just take in a little thought and see what we can come up with that will please every one this time.

We might do well to begin by stopping and thinking about why we are doing all of this celebrating in the first place.  That would get us off to a good start right away. 

I believe the main answer is pretty obvious:

IT IS GODLY TO HONOR OUR MOTHERS

God said to honor our parents.  

This is so important to God that He made it one of the ten commandments!

Ephesians 6:2-3 tells us:   “Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise) “that it may go well with you and that you may be long-lived on the earth.”  

Sure sounds like a win/win situation to me!

NOTHING IS EVER AS SIMPLE AS IT SOUNDS

For some of us though; it just isn’t quite that simple!

If your family is a little un-traditional; (like mine,) the big question of what simple little thing to do can sometimes get very complicated.  

Don’t misunderstand the intention of my statement.  When I say un-traditional I simply mean we deal with divorce situations.  

That is my own particular “un-traditional;” but there are many more  types of not so “cookie cutter” families out there dealing with all types of other situations.  

My heart especially goes out to those who have just recently lost their Mothers.  This year will not be easy for those families.  If you have a close friend going through this stage of life; why not invite them to share in your time with your own mother?  They would have a better day and your Mom would probably be happy to have them come into her special celebration with you.  Love multiplies when you share it!

For most of us, the thoughts of Mother’s Day isn’t as simple as the way this occasion first started out; with Dad taking the kids to pick out a card that they all can sign and everyone letting Mom sleep late then surprising her with breakfast in bed.  

This flash back to the fifties might be just the thing though – often what a true family needs is just some simplicity and togetherness. 

If you can manage to pull it off – this old-fashioned way of celebrating is a sure recipe for some Mother’s Day happiness for the whole household.

Most of the time; anyway……

SUCH IS LIFE IN THIS MODERN WORLD IN WHICH  WE LIVE 

Families and traditions do tend to grow and evolve .  

Making the schedules work for everyone and keeping it simple and uncomplicated just isn’t that easy anymore.  Often the more you try to simplify; the more complicated things turn out to be.  It is probably best to be prepared for the unexpected and to just make the best of whatever hits you when you aren’t looking.

Now days, for most of us; the art of appreciating this very special day for what it is truly meant to be has to be carefully developed and thoughtfully planned from all angles.

Life in the fast-lane and within the modern world is always throwing us curves.  I DO think the slow-down from the pandemic has helped us not to worry so much about this though.

We want to try to help out with these situations with our May articles this month.  We are filling up the days before Mother’s Day with fresh new ideas to make life easier and less complicated.  It is our hope that our suggestions will be helpful as well as enjoyable.  

Let’s turn this day back into a day of joy instead of a day of stressed out ladies!

DEALING WITH BUDGETS

For many; all of this “thoughtful planning” we would wish to do just isn’t in the budget.

Great thoughts may be free; but carrying them out usually requires cash.

I have some good news for those of you who are facing this; no one understands or appreciates that fact more than your Mom!

Buy a sweet card, sign it with a nice note, and simply show up with a smile on your face.  

That smile will make her day more than any present you could buy in the store.  I promise you it will be a day you will always remember. 

Just decide to BE THERE with no particular agenda but spending time with her.

You can’t buy love; I tell this to my kids all the time.

YOU CAN’T BUY OR MANUFACTURE TIME

Of course, there are those that DO have the money in the budget; but the extra set-aside time is very hard to come by.

Unfortunately; so many people work 24/7 in the world we live in today.  God didn’t make us to endure this; and somehow we have to find more rest and Sabbath in our days; Mother’s Day included.  

In a perfect world all believe and keep Sabbath and all get the proper rest and all put aside and have the time they need for everything.  

That little picture-perfect world still hasn’t resonated in the minds of many though.  They aren’t even being materialistic; it just cost a lot to get by these days.  Somehow we must make this easier for those we are leaving behind.  In the meantime; they (all families of all types) are dealing with impossible schedules all the time.    

The modern world seems to be on a non-stop schedule with no boundaries and our children and our grandchildren are often caught in the trap of learning to deal with this.

For the multitude out there, that simple old-fashioned  9 to 5 work schedule is a thing of the past.  This situation isn’t always a personal choice anymore.  For a lot of people in a lot of the time this crazy, randomly scheduled type of work schedule is merely a matter of survival, especially for those just starting out in life who are still busy trying to establish their first home or trying to get through those college years, or in the early years of raising very young children.  

For many grown children, these awkward stages of life are full of very expensive adjustments that don’t happen easily or without effort.  Sometimes they require a very hard, yet temporary, sacrifice that requires them to give up  many other things that they either need or want to do.

How many mother’s out there have kids working two or three jobs this year?  

This situation requires our patience and mercy.

Please remember to thank God that at least your child is trying to be a responsible hard-working citizen, and they are anxious to provide for their families and their futures.  They will eventually come to their own realities and work this out.  In the meantime; let’s try to give them a break.  Don’t over-anticipate and always expect what is impossible for them to offer right now.  

When you work in the midst of the crazy scheduling of the world; even if it is just a temporary situation; anything extra can add stress to an already too stressful and overbooked day.

Suggestion:  Why not call your Mom about a week before Mother’s Day and invite her to attend something with you that DOES fit into your schedule; even if it goes six months out into the future.  

Tell her it is her Mother’s day treat; but it couldn’t fall on the day that you are scheduled to be working.

I promise you; she will be flexible and cherish the thought that you planned something in spite of your crazy life.

When the day comes around remember to keep it!  

Make it as special as you can.  

Maybe you could take in a movie or go to lunch together; just do something at some point that was planned BEFORE Mother’s day happened; even if it isn’t on THE day the rest of the world is celebrating.

Also be sure to find just a few minutes to call her on THE day and wish her well.

CARDS ARE A VERY GOOD WAY TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS

In this type of situation; icing on the cake would be to mail a sweet card with a handwritten note to arrive on the Saturday BEFORE the day she will be spending without you.  

The card could even include tickets or a “save this date for me” note.  That way, if she is sitting at home while all the other Mother’s are celebrating, she will have a physical reminder to hold in her hands.  It will be your very thoughtful card that arrives ahead of time and proves that you love her, you care, and you are thinking of her.  

MOTHERS ALWAYS APPRECIATE FLOWERS

If you are feeling REALLY bad that you can’t be there on THE day; send a pretty bouquet for her table; and call around to make sure someone in the family makes sure she is occupied and happy in the time while you are away.   

It helps ease the tension for everyone when brothers and sisters and other relatives coordinate their plans together.  Don’t let all of the DOING each time turn out to be one-sided.  Share and take equal responsibility in the remembering.

It is never what you do that matters; it is always in the thoughtful way that you do it. 

You’ve got this!

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE TEN PLACES ALL AT ONCE

There are also those who do not have to work, and the budget is not a problem; but they just can’t manage to clone themselves and be in two equally important places all at once.  

This is very typical all across the globe; but we humans tend to think we are the ONLY ones when it happens.

Let’s face the obvious here; you simply can’t be in four or five places at the same time!

Sadly; we are living in a world full of divorced parents. 

Most adult children are having to split their time between many in several different ways; and if they are lucky and not too tired they will get time to enjoy their OWN Mother’s Day with their OWN children a bit for themselves.  

This simply isn’t fair to young mothers and their little ones.  

Older Moms and Grandmothers; remember to be gentle, kind and understanding. 

The grands need to be establishing patterns of celebrating Mother’s Day with their Moms first and all of their grandmother’s second.

On this day; no matter what; things will just have to happen in a way that works out best for all. 

So please don’t stress or imagine that you are being overlooked if the hands of the clock don’t match the timing of your imagination. 

Think about the other 364 days of your year and smile.    

If you have children and/or grands; you are blessed!

GROWN DAUGHTERS NEED AN OPPORTUNITY TO ENJOY THEIR FAMILY TOO

How I loved those simpler times of sleeping in and wondering what the little ones would do to surprise me.  Those younger days so full of simpler things were so delightful. 

I want my daughters to experience these same types of blessings with their families that I cherished with them.

MAKE YOUR PLANS; THEN BE FLEXIBLE

So this is a typical plan that we will suggest to you; one example out of many more we will suggest during the up-coming days that are leading up to Mother’s Day. 

This suggestion is based simply on what this particular writer in her own particular situation wants to personally coordinate at her own home on Mother’s Day during this unique season.  

Maybe it will work the same for you; or maybe it can be flexed a bit.  It is just ONE example among many; just one little peek into the coming day that we are anticipating.  As we mentioned before; every family will be different.

I only give my example here in order to get the wheels of your mind to start turning and to be thinking toward your own situation.  Just slow down long enough to take inventory of your own needs and think it through.

The postcard for me looks a bit like this:

The kids are all grown. 

Two of them are Mother’s themselves.  

Everyone lives in a different neighborhood and everyone goes to a different church. 

One set of the family is even out-of-state.

On Mother’s Day they all will be needing time for those special moments with their own families within their own homes.

Each of these now-grown and very busy Moms have so many others to remember on THEIR special day.  They have kids, husbands and Mother-In-Laws; and they have a lot of other responsibilities to handle in the middle of all this mix.

Also, another piece of my own particular story; is that my own Mother is living alone; since my Father died a few years back; and the whole family will also want to try to make special times and/or arrangements for her on Mother’s Day.  

That, however; must also be coordinated with my brother and his large and scattered family.

All of us have a juggling act to do!

Plus; there is the fact that as a step-mother; I’ve always had to share this day with our children’s birth Mother. 

They are close to her too; even though all four of them lived with me and their Dad from their early elementary school days forward. 

As in most step-family situations; Mother’s Day was always a juggling act when they were growing up.  Usually they would all go to spend the day with their birth-Mom and her mother first, then they would come back home to see me that evening.  

At some point we all would go out to see my Mom too.  

Somehow it always worked out; but it was never very easy for anyone; including the kids.  Now we are on our third generation of doing this.  It is more complicated now.

I just THOUGHT those days were complicated!

Now that they are all grown and are Moms themselves, they now must try to divide the day between more than the two of us (me and their birth Mom; not to mention including our mothers, their great-grandmothers.)  They have their mother-in-laws to think about now, (one of them is blessed with two MIL’s) and they even have their spouse’s still-living grandmothers to think of too!

Somehow they must figure out how to put in the special time with their own children first and foremost! After all; that is what the day is supposed to be all about.  

All of this can get pretty frustrating and complicated; but they somehow always manage to do it with grace and love and wonderfulness.  It is inspiring for me just to watch.  The way they have learned how to handle their life now always amazes me.  I’m constantly thanking God for how He raised them right!

As you can imagine; the scheduling of all of this can get to be a bit stressful; even from just my part of the equation.

There is one final solution (in my case) that always seems to work out well for everyone.  

When my main objective on this day is simply to try to plan something special with my own Mom; and give the adult children the complete freedom to plan their own events and to do whatever they decide they need to do whenever they decide they need to do it; we develop a more natural flow of events and things are a lot less hectic and stressful.

When I plan the day this way; I always go into the time with low expectations; and usually come out of the day with high degrees of feeling loved and cherished; no matter what happens.

TRY TO FIND YOUR BEST WIN/WIN SITUATION AND GO WITH IT

Typically I tend to go with my Mom to her early-church on Mother’s Day morning.  Then I bring her over to our house for a Mother’s Day tea/brunch afterward.  

That has always been a fun time for all of us.  

I try to  invite my brother.  That way we will be home for the bulk of the day, and anyone ( our children or grand children) who wants to come by to say “hello” is welcomed to join our company whenever it is convenient for them; they can catch us at home.

Win/win.  

That is how I USUALLY plan the day, but it is more complicated some years; like when my Mom was still recovering from surgery. 

When that was the case; I just planned to use the same pattern at HER house instead of mine, skipping the church attendance.  

Problem solved.  

My kids can also come to her house as easy as they could come to our house.  I’ll just let them know where I’m going to be.  They will be welcomed and we can all be happy together if that works out right for their schedules.

Of course this plan puts me cooking and looking after someone else’s schedule on Mother’s Day; but that really doesn’t bother me at all.  My own Mom is very special and totally worth the effort! 

Most of the hard work for my part of the day will be planned ahead and done ahead as much as possible.

I’m even going to plan out the Mother’s Day food and probably blog about it too, possibly talking about past years along with the present.

Why don’t we share the fun?  

If our fun fits your day; come join in with us.  Expect to see that blog at some later point during this week full of upcoming Mother’s Day suggestions.

MOTHERS STILL NEED TO BE MOTHERS EVEN ON MOTHER’S DAY

Anyway; isn’t all of this planning and preparing just what Mothers do?  

They always look after and feed their loved ones.

Aren’t we always the ones to make the special occasions happen?  

Why should we stop serving in our own purposeful roles on our own day? 

LOL.

IGNORE THE HYPE AND LET GO OF THE PRESSURE FOR PERFECTION

Honestly; probably like many of the rest of you; I’ve always thought the hype and pressure of this day can get to be a little over-rated. 

I’ve never worried too much about what happens; since my family has always been wonderful about making every day of my year very special, and they have never taken anything I’ve ever done for them for granted.

With this in mind; I just gladly take in whatever family time God makes available and do my very best to enjoy the day!

MY LITTLE SECRET

Okay, I’ll admit that my conscience is bothering me a bit; so I’ll tell you another well-hidden secret that helps me to be so calm, cheerful and collected when the special day of celebration comes along:  

On the Saturday before Mother’s Day I take a whole day for myself.  

Saturday is my Sabbath; so basically I worship; then I rest!

(No gasps please!)

My day always starts out by sleeping late, and I rest until the sun goes down.  

Then I get into my car and go to get a haircut, a manicure and a pedicure.  

After that; I might even go shopping and buy myself a whole new spring outfit; even jewelry if I want.  I simply save up for this ahead of time so I don’t blow the budget on my frivolity for maintaining sanity and self-preservation.

Aside from resting during the day – lunch is eaten in one of my favorite restaurants either by myself, with my husband, (or with a girl friend doing all of these same things too.)   Then on the way home later on that evening; I pick-up late-night take-out Chinese dinner for my husband and myself and go home to watch a favorite chick-flick that evening before Mother’s Day.

I confess; I’ve done this for years!

Please don’t tell!

That evening I will take a long hot bubble-bath and sip a glass of wine before watching a movie I want to see.  Then, I just relax at home with my husband and get a refreshing and good night’s sleep.

All of this has a very calming effect on me.  The next day I feel able to handle anything!

When the hectic Hallmark schedule starts on Sunday – I’m totally refreshed and ready to enjoy the day.  

Honestly; I am lacking for nothing which I desire at that point; so anything that happens suits me just fine.  

Go ahead and laugh; but if you do this too you will quickly understand how therapeutic it can be. 

It is a secret that all Mother’s share but don’t like to talk about.  You must learn to take care of yourself before you can be very useful in caring for others.  The whole universe hides this; because it is a great mystery that belongs only to the best of Motherhood.

IT IS ALL IN THE PLANNING

Of course that means I must do some careful and thoughtful planning during the week and be ready to rise EARLY on Sunday morning.

During the week before I’m also busy shopping for the groceries for my Mom’s special meal, picking out her presents and preparing for the events we want to do with her.

I do a little bit of extra housekeeping every day all week long, and during the week the house gets all decorated and polished up really pretty.   This too is another hidden secret of the universe that has been well-preserved and used quietly by women across the globe.  It is the realization that everything is easy if you break it down and do it a little here and a little there. 

When you do things this way; in the end all of your efforts just seem to come together nicely.   

By the time Saturday comes that heavy burden of not having a plan is totally gone from my mind, and I’m able to relax a bit and treat myself too!  

And here I reveal yet another secret of the universe that applies to all smart women everywhere; there is always enough time if you learn how to do it in increments; and there is always enough for EVERYONE on the list. 

If you simply plan ahead; it always comes together.  

A LIFETIME OF LOVE CANNOT GET CRAMMED INTO ONE DAY

So, believe it or not; this one particular day of the year that Hallmark picked out just for us; doesn’t exactly have to be perfect for me to feel loved. 

I hope you get that feeling too; and l hope all women out there are feeling the same way.

If not; well you are free to keep living in Stepford…..(I thought that movie was great.) 

The world will never be perfect; but the love we scatter along each path we walk down will make those imperfections beautiful anyway.

JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND LOOK AROUND

In reality and looking back, I can honestly say that  every day of my life with my family has always felt like a special Mother’s Day; even without one bit of help from Hallmark. 

All it takes to put a smile on my face these days is taking a deep breath and looking around the room at all the amazing and beautiful faces I’ve been blessed to love for so long and so well.

ALWAYS COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Another secret, even better than those others I have shared here; is that on each passing Mother’s Day I always remember to stop and count my blessings. 

I never forget that I went for a long time as a divorced, single and childless woman.  I am forever grateful for family.

Please don’t misunderstand; there is certainly nothing wrong with either of those different stages and seasons of life; but I will admit that having a family surrounding you with love brings an unimaginable abundance into your days.  

God certainly does come along and replace the years that the locust ate.  He always keeps His promises.  If that has not happened in your life yet; don’t worry.  His clock is always accurate and correct; it will come if you just stay content and appreciate where you are living and breathing in this moment.  

My once empty house is now abundant and overflowing with love.  The grands are my favorite part of this development!  

Looking at the whole picture in a very ironic way, I’ve discovered that Mother’s Day always serves as a good reminder for MOTHERS to offer up thanks for all that their families mean to them.

So it is that life always seems to arrive full circle with the one to be appreciated turning out to be the one who appreciates things the most.  I love how God always manages to pull that off!  

YOUR MOM CAN’T BE WITH YOU FOREVER – CHERISH THE TIME YOU HAVE

It is more important for me in this season and at this particular stage of our lives to make my own Mom feel sure she is loved and cherished.  

If it works out that I get to spend time with our grown children and grand children too; that is like icing on the cake.  

If we all get to share the whole day together at once; that is super special and very unique.

Something special always comes together; no matter how little or how much we plan it out.

LOOK FOR SOME INTERESTING BLOG POSTS DURING THIS MOTHER’S DAY MONTH

As I’m making my own plans; you know I’m thinking of all of our faithful readers out there who are pondering how to make this day extra-special for their Moms too. 

In order to honor those sweet thoughts and good intentions; I’ve put together a few week’s worth of Mother’s Day-related blog-posts that are full of new ideas and creative suggestions.

I hope you enjoy them and that they give you as much pleasure as they gave me when I was putting it all together. 

This type of seasonal blogging surely helps me to keep my own priorities straight so that I can stay more focused on what really matters.

Thanks to all of you for making me and The IN SEASON Lifestyle Community more thoughtful about intentional living because of our ability to talk and share these seasons of our lives together while we are visiting here at The IN SEASON Lifestyle Community.  

We will also be sharing Mother’s Day blogs from several years past.  Each year has been unique and special in its own way. 

As we are all thinking back; you might remember our photo contest from a few years ago.  I asked all Mothers reading the posts to share photos of their special Mother’s Day moments.   In closing this article I am re-posting three of the winning photos just to set the stage for this year and to help you to remember to take some photos of your own special moments!

Thanks again Theresa Kiomall Decker and Elaine Ethridge for sharing your lovely photo memories with all of our community here.  I hope you enjoy looking back at them again; and I want to wish all Mom’s an early and a very special and happy Mother’s Day.

Don’t let anyone or anything rob you of the joy that belongs to you!

Go on out there and keep changing the world for the better through the love you share with your children.