ABSOLUTES OF FATHERHOOD
We live in such changing times.
It is hard to find absolutes.
Our current culture finds it very hard to define anything without treading on someone else’s feelings. Yet; there are absolutes, whether some people like it or not.
One of those absolutes is the definition of a good father. Well, at least it is an absolute for this writer.
Can you define a good father?
WHAT IS A GOOD FATHER?
I think you will have your own definition brewing if you reach way down into the recesses of your memories and remember all the things about fathers you have known over the years.
Yes; there are good fathers and bad fathers. This week we are planning to honor the good ones.
So; what is your definition of a father?
Mat Walsh move over. This may actually turn out to be as controversial as What is a Woman!
MY PERSONAL POINT OF VIEW
Here goes; with all of my courage and bravery I’m going to give you MY definition of a father. I also want to add a few quotes about and from fathers whom I find of interest in relation to what makes up a good father.
To me a father is a man who loves his children very much.
He teaches them the most important things in life; like how to come into God’s Kingdom and how to relate to the highest Father of All. This involves being a nonconformist to the world’s ways and ideas and instead being very attentive to God’s Holy Scriptures.
It is my own personal opinion that If a father believes in God, lives out and does these things; he will be a living, breathing example of the best way to live out life here on earth. The most important thing that defines him will be love, forgiveness, compassion, truth, honor and glory to God.
NOTHING EASY ABOUT IT
My definition of a father isn’t an easy way to live.
It gets harder and harder every day.
A true follower of this type would live out God’s definition of family; involving one man and one woman committed to a lifetime of raising and loving their children to the very best of their ability.
Yes; they would fail often; but they would get back up, repent and turn and go out to live and love again.
CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN PEOPLE
I realize most of our culture today will not find my definition acceptable to their standards.
It doesn’t matter; I will keep what I have found to be true and right inside my heart and hope that others can see, learn and understand this definition too.
None of us will ever truly achieve this goal; but the point is to keep on trying and when we make mistakes, to make the best of them and change accordingly and keep trying again.
Does that definition mean I hate all others who disagree with me and my personal viewpoint?
Absolutely not!
We live in a free country (at least that is what I keep hearing.) Everyone has the right to make their own choices.
WISHING FOR GOD’S GREATEAST BLESSINGS FOR ALL
I love all people enough to wish God’s greatest and highest for them. No one is playing judge and jury here; we have enough trouble keeping our own business straight. Also; I try not to preach too much with people who disagree with my point of view; but I do pray for God to show them His truth; and if I’m wrong I pray for God to show me.
In spite of all of that; my definition still stands for me and mine.
Nothing speaks into life like first-hand experience and that is where I come from with this point of view. My childhood was an amazing and magical time and the formation I found in those values have made my adult life full and joyous. Because of the strong values of my parents; I did not have to deal with much brokenness. I’m thankful for that.
Most of us learn from brokenness though; and as I’ve grown life has taught me more and more.
DEALING WITH CULTURE CHAOS
Most of today’s generation have never experienced my definition of a father. Hence; it comes as no surprise that they would not relate to my stance. These have had to make the best world they can make out of culture chaos. I do understand a lot more than it may sound like here.
God made us all different and unique.
Some of us have walked in places where others will never tread. This has made a lot of our opinions about life and how it should be lived out different.
That is okay.
I might not have related in such a way as this either; had my definition not happened to me in my formative years. I would love to hear any opposing thoughts when and after all opposes are in their 70’s and 80’s. Time brings out the truth in all circumstances. It cannot lie.
I’m well aware of the fact that there are men out there that can show love and affection to their children who do not share my views of what a family is all about. I do realize that, and I respect their right to live the way they chose. I simply choose to proclaim and live out my own chosen values as well as respect their right to do the same.
Neither side of this picture can claim to be lacking in love.
TIME NEVER LIES
The problem here is that both types of loving fathers will definitely have different goals. My goal is eternal and ever-lasting. Other’s have goals and definitions that change with the wind and evolve with culture and the changing times within which they live.
So which definitions of a father will survive?
Time will tell the story.
Personally; I believe that some things never change.
But that is my own personal belief and I am only one person.
I am actually more open-minded than you might know, and I am always listening for the best examples of fathers from other people.
FATHERS I’VE FOUND IMPRESSIVE
Here are a few details of some stories from others that have impressed me over the years. I’ll begin with their quotes, or quotes about them, and move on to share some of their stories.
Perhaps ALL life views will find SOME characteristics of fathers to be common; no matter your worldview or your religious beliefs.
I do love when that happens.
That is very possible, and it is certainly a good place for us to begin to help both groups of our children for the future.
George Strait once said “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then, it’s a love without end.”
Now that quote goes down as noble in my book. The thing about it is that you can’t just say the words. You have to live them out.
Did he do this?
FATHERHOOD BEFORE PERSONAL SUCCESS
I’m sure he did, but his precious time with his daughter was limited because she was tragically killed in an automobile accident when she was a teenager.
One grieving George Strait was at a critical time of climbing the ladder of success as a musician. He delayed his concerts and interviews for a long period of time to grieve the loss of this beloved daughter.
He chose not to speak about his feelings or this tragedy publicly; but held his family close until he could get back into the joys of life again. He took the time to help himself, his wife and his other child move beyond the pain. They healed as a family together.
I’m sure when you lose a child in this way you do experience living out those words he spoke and sang called; “love without end.”
A good father never stops loving.
FATHERS PICK UP THE PIECES
I’m sure he continued to be an awesome father to his son George Strait, Jr. as they all healed from the tragedy and his career went on to break all types of records in country music. In the meantime; George Strait Jr. became a profession rodeo rider and his father often attends his events. He has been known to attend a rodeo or two before his own concert on the same day.
This brings me to another characteristic of a good father; a good father is always supportive of his children’s dreams and ambitions. You have to really know your children to understand what these dreams and ambitions are.
A good father steers his children in the right direction.
PASSING ON THE LOVE
George Strait Jr. and his wife Tamera blessed the Straits with their first grandson who was honorably named after his grandfather.
Yes; it seems this love is going to continue and grow stronger as time goes on. It is pretty refreshing in today’s entertainment world to find a family with old-fashioned values; including those of remaining close to one another and being supportive at all times.
It seems that the commandment to “honor your father and mother that your days may be long upon the earth” was a part of the lifetime goals of George Strait. His own father died at age 91 a few years ago. All of the singer’s words for his father were honorable and respectful, loving and kind. His father had passed a special kind of love on to George. George was passing that same kind of love on to his son and grandson.
THE LOVE WITHOUT END
Another quote that I love from another good father comes to us from someone affiliated with George Strait. It originates with a songwriter named Aaron Barker who wrote one of the songs that was huge on the charts for George Strait called – of all things – “Love Without End”.
Mr. Barker was upset with his son and the way he was driving.
He had to come down hard on this son one day. The faithful father struggled with how to handle everything and finally decided right then to “be the Dad.”
That was when he made the quote that has become rather famous; “How can you be that mad at somebody and still love them that much? Where does that come from?”
He was definitely thinking like a good father.
From the place of this struggle, he wrote down his feelings and later George Strait sang them out in his own very graceful way.
“How can you be that mad at somebody and still love them that much?” Barker wondered.
“Where does that come from?”
WHERE DID THOSE FEELINGS COME FROM?
And now the reason is written in the words of a beautiful song for all the world to share.
A good father loves no matter what.
Barker answered his own question with another favorite quote: “That is the way that God loves us.” He agreed with me; that good father’s always have an eternal perspective.
Good fathers love the same way that God loves. The answer isn’t always “yes.”
George Strait and Aaron Barber are two of my favorite fathers.
Both of these guys “get” the best part of being a father – the love part. It isn’t about being perfect, but it is about being present with love in your heart. No matter who you are; no matter your world view or opinion. The “love” part of being a father is what really counts in the end.
I know that is one characteristic of a father that we all can agree upon.
So; I’ll just leave it there.