THE COMMANDMENT WITH A PROMISE

Moses is still up on the mountain talking with God and receiving the Ten Best Ways To Live.

The first four ways were all about honoring God.

Now God is giving Moses the fifth commandment. “Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”

Now the things that God is saying turn from how we should love and treat God to how we should love and treat one another.

THE COMMANDMENT WITH A PROMISE

This fifth commandment is the first commandment with a promise; “that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”

When you are only a child, your parents stand in authority over you. They are the very first people who communicate the love of Our Heavenly Father to you.

In a way, they stand in the gap between you and God until you are old enough to be accountable for yourself.

God has considered their precious servanthood and stewardship in this very important role. He asks that we show our parents the love and honor that they deserve for simply being our parents and bringing us into the world.

THE GIFT OF LIFE DESERVES OUR HONOR AND RESPECT

Our parents got us here!

That is a great miracle no matter what else happens.

If they did nothing else but give us life; they deserve our honor and respect.

Most parents do SO much more.

Most parents would be willing to make any sacrifice required in order to give their child a safe and happy life. We could never begin to repay what their love and concern have provided for us.

This honor and respect that God commands us to give to our parents while we are children should not end when we grow up and become adults.

SAYING THANK YOU WHEN THE RESPONSIBILITIES SHIFT

At some point the responsibility of our parents giving us life shifts and the child becomes responsible for the parent.

As our parents age, they require extra care.

They cared for us when we were helpless infants; why should we not care for them when the problems of age arise in their lives?

When this happens, and it always does sooner or later, the children have the opportunity and the privilege to say “thank you” for all the things they were provided with in their raising and growing up.

This “thanks” comes in the form of our best effort to honor and respect their dignity as well as provide any needed help and/or support needed because of ageing.

FAMILY MEANS RESPONSIBILITY AS WELL AS LOVE

God hasn’t just commanded us to honor and respect our parents without first instructing our parents in their own unique role within the family.

In Deuteronomy 6:5-7, God tells parents how to train their children: “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul,, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

This is why God expects us to respect our parents; because He has instructed them in our training which includes knowing and honoring all of the commandments that God gave to Moses up on the mountain.

God expects the best of those He blesses with children, and in return, God expects the best from those children of blessing!

GOD’S PICTURE OF A FAMILY

Perhaps God gave this commandment because He realizes that the health and well-being of a civilization is inextricably linked to the health and stability of marriage and family life.

By honoring our parents we honor the institution of marriage, parenthood and family.  The world we live in today seems to want to lose this identity; but God proclaimed it important.  It was so important to God that He spelled it out in different parts of the ten commandments.

Our individual families should reflect God’s greater family.

God is constantly drawing us into His huge family.

He did this when He allowed His Only Begotten Son to come down to earth and live as one of us, then suffer a cruel death on a cross to pay the penalty for our sins.

We get to practice here on earth for becoming a member of God’s heavenly family in the afterlife.  One way to do this is to honor our parents.

THE TRANSFORMATION NEEDS TO BE NOW

What we do now, with all of our decisions and commitments and giving and taking; will probably be the same as what we will do later in God’s Kingdom.

God expects us to be transformed NOW. This isn’t something that can wait until the day we are on our death-bed; but something to practice now in order to start living the Kingdom life BEFORE we die.

Because He is a good and constant teacher of all the things we need to know to live our best life now; God daily gives us all a chance to improve our relationship skills during this present lifetime.

PART OF THE TRAINING FOR GOD’S KINGDOM

Through the hard work of loving, godly parents God is beginning our days of training in how to get along with others. What we learn here will carry over into eternity.

God will expect us to honor and cherish Him as our Heavenly Father just as He expects us to honor and cherish our earthly parents in this life that He has granted us right now.

I hate to be the one to burst your bubble; but “your best life now” isn’t about the process of gaining material things and wealth. It is more of just the opposite.

Your “best life now” is learning to live in the ways of God.

This wisdom applied daily will give you a good life now and follow you into eternity.

NO ONE PROMISED “EASY”

It may not be the most prosperous life or the most leisurely life; but if you begin to live God’s way and aspire to keep the commandments now, when you come to the end of your days you will look back and say it was a wonderful life.

Part of that wonderful life involves learning how to honor and respect other people

The very first people we practice this life skill on is our own parents.

The scriptures make it pretty plain that God wants our families to succeed and prosper. He designed the family to be a foundation for building a society and a nation. In order for communities to be stable, the families in the community must be well and healthy.

Ultimately God wants us to have spiritually healthy families so we can produce godly off-spring, (Malachi 2:15), and in so doing expand God’s family. The fifth commandment sets up the rules that make this work out best for all parties.

THE ART OF LIVING WITHOUT FEAR OF GROWING OLD

Good godly parents should produce good godly children who love, honor and respect them and God.

This is the way God intended for us to live.

It is a way of peace, joy and harmony.

When a family is really a family; there should be no fear in growing old, only honor.

But what if you were not blessed with godly parents?

THERE ARE NO “PERFECT” PARENTS

Even with imperfect parents; the words of God’s commandment still say that you should honor and respect your parents.

Those holy words do not say to honor your “perfect” parents.

They do not say to honor your “godly” parents or your “righteous” parents.

The words are simply “honor your parents.”

The commandment doesn’t seem to define anything based on who or what they are to you. It doesn’t go into any details of the mistakes they might have made along the way or even how they treated you as you grew up.

You are simply to honor your parents; no explanations or exceptions given.

TWO ALWAYS STARTS WITH ONE THEN COMES THE ADDITION

We all wish for strong families. This is not always simple or easy to achieve.

One aspect of forming a strong family is a desire and a sense of deep commitment for one another.

It takes two parties to make this work out perfectly, but two always has to start out as one.

If neither party is willing to make the commitment or take the first step to try to get along, all will simply stall out and there will be no real family.

GET OVER THE POST CARD IMAGES

Family life isn’t always a picture perfect post card.

When circumstances become strained or unpleasant and when the other party disappoints you, or lets you down, consider the fact that true families stay dedicated to each other and are committed to staying together through the good, the bad and the ugly.

If your parents have turned out to be not so perfect; love them anyway.

UNDERSTAND THE TRUE DEFINITIONS OF LOVE

Just be aware that the definition of love is NOT the toleration of sin.

Love isn’t the willingness to let someone else have their way no matter what.

Love always demonstrates what is best and most needed for all parties.

Love is not one-sided or biased.

Love is always fair; yet forgiving and merciful.

If your parents seem to be impossible to deal with; pray for them and ask God to show them how to change.

You do NOT have to accept the sins in another person’s life; you DO have to accept and love the person though; whether that means they are imperfect or not. You can hate a sin and still love a sinner.

JESUS SHOWED US HOW TO DO THIS

It is best to follow all the many examples of Jesus.

He was and still is the expert in this field.

Jesus is our best definition of pure and honest love.

Always ask God to open your eyes to things you may not be aware of.

Ask God if there is anything that you may need to change in yourself.

Try to look inward before you start looking outward and being judgmental of others.

Have those honest conversations with your imperfect parents.

Do express your feelings, but show respect and treat them with honor and dignity through the process.

Instead of letting hard times or bad circumstances crush your family relationships, try working together to overcome these things. God wants us all to work together to correct our problems.

REALIZE IT IS GOD’S PLAN; NOT OURS

So often life doesn’t go the way we planned, or doesn’t offer a perfect little picture of what we think it is supposed to be.

We must remember the fifth commandment during these times and remember our part of the commitment to love and honor our parents, even when (from a human perspective,) you come up with a million reasons not to do so.

Stay deeply committed to your family members no matter what.

But how would you go about this as your parents grow older and become more senile and set in their ways?

The main thing to do is to trust God with every problem.  Talk to Him.  Go to Him.  Ask Him how to handle every tough situation and then follow through with the things He puts on your heart to do.  He will understand your willingness to honor His commandment.

God understands everything!

Even those hard situations that seem impossible.

How wonderful it is to have a heavenly Father who knows what we should do.  We just need to go to Him and ask and He will help us and give us all the strength and wisdom that we need for every situation.

EVERYONE MUST START SOMEWHERE

So what are the first steps to correcting a bad parent/child relationship?

Communicate with love.

Forgive.

Be committed even if they are not.

Pray.

Show love and affection and pay attention.

God will do the rest.

Remember the blessing that He promised at the end.

God always keeps His promises.