Have you ever wondered about David’s wives? I’ve thought about them a lot. As we journey through The Books of Samuel and experience David’s adventures on the way to kingship, I have so many questions. Today I wish to explore the answers.
The scriptures mention seven wives. An eighth wife appears to be a nickname. There were many concubines as well. We can count at least 21 children of David from all of these wives and concubines.
Don’t worry, I’m definitely not pushing polygamy here. However, I think understanding David’s wives would definitely help us to know David better. It might also help us understand why God is against polygamy. Talk about complicated! It was.
ROYAL MARRIAGES IN ANCIENT TIMES
In those days, things were different. Morals were not always clear. Kings increased royal households in strange ways. Many marriages were political alliances. These alliances were for promoting national prosperity and security.
Our observances aren’t political though. We simply desire to know more about David’s wives. What was it about each of them that completed David? What about these wives made his life as a King better? Perhaps understanding David’s wives better will help us understand David better.
THE MYSTERIOUS EGLAH
One wife’s name, Eglah, seems to be a nickname for a wife instead of the name of another wife. There is a lot of uncertainty about Eglah. She was either another wife, or David’s nickname for his favorite wife.
The name, Eglah, is recorded in the Davidic genealogy. Therefore we must take note of it. Who was she though?
WHO WAS EGLAH?
Some speculate Eglah was Michal. Many believe Michal was (ironically) David’s favorite wife. Actually, no one is sure about Eglah. Maybe David called all of his wives Eglah from time-to-time. Eglah could be the name for any wife which he desired at the moment. Remembering the names of so many wives and concubines would probably not be easy. Maybe David simply used “Eglah” when he couldn’t remember the current wife’s name.
Eglah’s name appears in many of the ancient writings of the Rabbi’s. A few scholars think she may even be just a made-up story of a wife. The Rabbis could have invented her in order to cover some of the shenanigans of David’s crazy life. Rabbi’s often covered truths to protect the reputations of Israel’s kings.
FASCINATING DETAILS
Today we will share what we know of the other seven mysterious women David married. Discussing all of David’s wives may be getting a bit ahead of our storyline. We may need to repeat ourselves a bit in the future. Perhaps we can be vague with the rest of these wife stories and not give all of David’s stories away. It seems important to stop and discuss his wives. This part of David’s life story can be surprising, confusing and fascinating.
OUR GOAL IN STUDYING
Previously, we spent a lot of time discussing the marriage of David and Abigail. That story sounded like a beautiful fairy tale. However, it is only fair to mention that David married at least six other women in the course of his lifetime.
Abigail’s life with David had its ups and downs too. No love story is perfect. Kings and Queens have problems. They experience struggles just like the rest of us. As a matter of fact, some of David’s wives had horrific problems despite their royal marriages.
SKETCHY INFORMATION
This might be one of the most difficult articles I’ve ever had to put together. Research was very spotty. Commentary was also confusing. Many facts were contradictory at times. It wasn’t the scriptures, it was man’s commentary.
So, I pray that all our information is accurate. Many articles I researched contained more questions than answers. In the end I tried to cull those I thought were in error.
A TRANISHED HERO
Research revealed a lot of unexpected information. Much of it was hard for me to digest. David has always been one of my most respected and treasured heroes. Yet, some of these facts surely tarnished his halo. I long ago forgave him for the sins with Bathsheba, but what I discovered about Michal was also very disheartening.
MICHAL
We also discussed David’s marriage to Michal in some of our previous articles. She was David’s first wife. Michal was the youngest daughter of Saul. Past lessons have spoken of how David won her hand from Saul in pursuit of the Philistines.
Michal deeply loved David. Saul set dangerous standards for anyone wanting to obtain Michal’s hand in marriage. However, David prevailed. So the marriage took place. This marriage brought David into Saul’s royal household. From that moment on, Saul considered David a rival and a threat to his kingship.
MICHAL’S NICKNAME
Eglah is one of the wives of David. The Rabbis identify Eglah with Michal. Many say this was a nickname. In Hebrew “Eglah” means “a calf or a heifer.” Some suppose Michal earned this nickname when she deceived King Saul. Her wisdom in dealing with her father had broken his yoke over her.
Michal deceived Saul by pretending not to care for David. This happened when Saul accused her of saving David and helping him escape death by Saul’s sword. Michal turned the responsibility for David’s escape on to Saul. She said Saul had arranged her marriage to David against her will. Next she claimed that David had threatened her and forced her to lie to Saul.
A FAVORED WIFE
David admired this trait in Michal. He probably gave her this nickname during the time of his running from Saul. Many claim Michal was always David’s favorite wife. Here is an exert from The Jewish Woman’s Archive which makes this nickname even stranger. Again, it speaks of Eglah belonging to Michal:
“The midrash speaks of three women who had difficult deliveries and died in childbirth: Rachel, the wife of Phinehas, and Michal daughter of Saul. Michal bleated like a sheep when giving birth and died, and therefore she was called “Eglah” (Gen. Rabbah 82:7). This haggadic tradition was meant to resolve the difficulty raised by the identification of Michal with Eglah. II Sam. 3:5 attests that Eglah had a son named Ithream, while Michal was said not to have a child to her dying day. This difficulty could be circumvented if Michal gave birth to Ithream on her dying day. Another Rabbinic proposal is that from that day on Michal was punished by not bearing any further children, but before that fateful day she already had a son by this name (BT Sanhedrin 21a).”
Go figure. I’m not even going to guess.
A WOMAN TRAPPED BY MEN
After helping David run away from Saul, Michal was trapped into another unwanted marriage. Saul simply declared her free from David because he considered David as good as dead. Then he gave Michal’s hand to another man named Palti.
The legends of Michal and Palti are strange. Michal and Palti lived in the royal palace of Saul. Some think Michal had five sons by this “unofficial” husband. It seems that Michal secretly remained in love with David. Many say Palti never consummated their marriage. Others think the five sons were the sons of Michal’s older sister. Apparently, this sister died early in life.
TURNING POINT FOR DAVID AND MICHAL
The time came when David and Michal’s relationship went awry. This moment happened when Michal looked down from the palace window and saw David dancing in an ephod in front of the Ark of the Covenant.
FATEFUL MOMENT IN TIME
It must have shocked Michal to see David was alive and back in town. She despised David for dancing so immodestly. At first it seemed Michal was embarrassed at his crude behavior. She implied he was showing off in front of the other women.
One might assume this was the bitterness of a woman taken from the man she loved. Even worse, the abductor was her father. He then gave her to another man whom she did not love. Now, all these years later, she was shocked to see her former husband prancing down the street, half-clothed, dancing wildly in a religious ceremony.
Soon we learn there is much more to this story than anyone can see on the surface.
MICHAL’S BIG SURPRISE
Before David met Abigail, he and a woman named Ahinoam were married. This marriage took place soon after Michal was given by Saul to be the wife of another man.
Ahinoam was originally from Jezreel. However, it is suspected that she was previously the wife of Saul. She was actually his first wife. The first wife, especially if she is the one to bear the first son, is the one who is usually considered the main wife and the Queen. Ahinoam had given Saul a daughter and a son. It is possible that David took Ahinoam from Saul for revenge.
Perhaps David thought of Saul’s actions toward his marriage with Michal and imitated them. Maybe David just PRESUMED that Saul was dead, and took Ahinoam as a wife. Whatever the reason, we do know that David was quick to chase revenge until the day he met Abigail. It was Abigail who convinced him not to do this.
Here is the real shocker. Many believe that Ahinoam was also Michal’s mother.
POOR MICHAL
Can you imagine Michal’s feelings as she looks down from the window of the palace? Expecting a great day, she suddenly sees the man she loves dancing joyfully down the street. There has been no word from him to her that he was back in town. Perhaps she had dreamed of his return; but not like this.
Then suddenly Michal’s eyes shift over to the crowd on the roadside. This is the place where David’s harem stands as an official audience. There, among the royal women of David’s court, stands her own Mother. She is among the women who marvel at David as he dances. Ahinoam is said to have given David his first born son. It is possible she is prominently pregnant as Michal looks down to see these shocking events taking place.
How would you feel? I think I might have been a little queasy. Then, maybe I would be very sick at my stomach. Michal chose to handle the situation with royal sarcasm. What else could she do? Things were getting to be very ironic at this point.
MICHAL IS INSULTED
Seeing this sight might have been the last straw in Michal’s love story with David. Perhaps the man she had been forced to live with after David had been good to her. Apparently, they have five sons. The sons are either from marriage or adoption.
Now David comes prancing back into town. He is dancing with joy, after all she has been through. David isn’t even apologetic about being married to her mother. Their relationship is public. This too could have been staged to dishonor Saul.
Poor Michal. This time must have been so painful. It was very insulting. Her heart must have broken into a million pieces while experiencing these moments.
MICHAL’S PAIN
We are about to study the books of Samuel further. This study will speak of how David finally became the official King of Israel. At that point, he gained the power and authority to bring Michal back into his household.
Even though she was taken from him and given away again, legally Michal was still David’s wife. They never divorced. However, she had been living with another man for many years. It wasn’t her fault or her choice. This was some of Saul’s cruel plans.
So, David planned to take her back into the palace. Yet, he would never be legally allowed to have relations with her again. It is mentioned that He could not do this because she was now known as a woman of an adulterous affair. All of Israel knew this. Thanks to her Father, Saul. What a sad story.
Remember how Joseph was going to “put Mary away quietly”? Perhaps David was entertaining this same concept in relation to Michal.
PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND
Why would this very sorted story be right in the middle of a story about a man after God’s own heart? It made me very uncomfortable to begin sorting out these facts. However, there they were.
We mere humans can never know the mind of God. He is so far above our thinking. Perhaps we needed to know how human David was. He is proof of the fact that God can forgive any sin. God still loved David, in spite of all of his faults.
What about Michal?
Michal was David’s first love. Then he replaced her with her Mother. Theologically, this could be a picture of mankind replacing God with false religion. It is a lot to consider.
One day God will use the story of Michal’s broken heart in some way too. For some unknown reason, all of this will make sense to someone, somewhere, at sometime in the future. God will probably be the only One who knows all the reasons why. It isn’t our place to question God’s plan. We are only to have faith. Somehow all these things were part of the plan for David’s life as The King of Israel. We can only speculate at all of the reasons.
MICHAL – A STORY OF ALL WOMEN
One reason given by some authors is that Michal’s story is actually a very common story for many women throughout the history of mankind. Michal is a picture of a woman who doesn’t get the fairy tale ending.
As I researched these thoughts, I came across an amazing writer who put this story of Michal into perfect words. I think almost every woman can relate to this description. The writer is a woman who simply calls herself Wil. Officially she is Dr. Wil Gafney, Ph.D. She blogs in a blog called Womanist Wading In The Word. Here is a link to her article which I read: https://www.wilgafney.com/2018/07/12/why-michal-rightly-despised-david/.
MICHAL’S STORY WILL PREACH
Below I will quote Dr. Gafney’s very significant and amazing words about Michal. They hit me as very legitimate reasons God could have allowed these things to happen to Michal. Keep in mind this author is also an Episcopal preacher. I know nothing of her philosophy and beliefs. It is possible we could disagree on many subjects. However her words about Michal rang very true to me. Her words were:
“I heard a voice say preach Michal’s story. Preach the story of a woman who loved a man who didn’t love her. I heard preach the story of a woman who never had children and died alone. Preach the story of a woman who loved a man of God who had other women and chose all of them over her. I heard preach the story of a woman who got left holding the bag when she helped the man she loved break out.”
“Preach the story of a woman who got passed around from man to man by another man. I heard preach the story of a woman locked up and abandoned by the man she had risked everything for. Preach the story of a woman who found someone who loved her after everything she had been through and had that man and his love taken by the man she had once loved who never loved her. I heard preach the story of a woman who doesn’t get a happy ending in the bible. Preach that. But nobody wants to hear that.”
I highly recommend reading the whole article. Be prepared to be moved beyond understanding at times. So, now we are beginning to understand Michal much better.
A CHILDLESS WIFE
As a result of this argument with David, it is said that Michal remained childless. There is more to that story too. How could David, as King, and as one who kept the law, ever have relations with her again? She, by no fault of her own, had become an adulterous woman. Michal had spent years living with another man. She had five children (either birthed or adopted) by a man who was not truly her husband. Michal and David never divorced. Saul had given her to another man when she was still married.
So, David took her to his home, but never again had sexual relations with her. I know. Let all of that irony sink in. They lived in such crazy times! Michal was not truly barren; she was simply unable to be with her husband because the world she came from had destroyed their relationship forever. On top of all that, though she was David’s first wife, she could never be his Queen.
A LIFE OF IRONY
Michal was forced to live with David’s other wives and their children. She got to watch their fruitfulness fill the royal palace. She would never be given the chance to bear a royal son who might be considered heir to the crown. To top it off, one of the other wives was her own Mother. Michal’s heart must have lived in constant grief.
This is a very sad story. How many things can go wrong in so many ways? Mental illness, such as Saul’s, can truly ruin a happy family. So many now bore scars and wounds because of Saul’s shallow way of living. Seeds of revenge (from both sides) can produce rotten fruit that destroys souls. I will add that I’m now very sure that David wasn’t perfect either.
AHINOAM
A woman named Ahinoam was David’s wife when he lived in Hebron. She was originally from Jezreel, which is in the Galilee. Many think she was the former wife of Saul. It seems possible that she was actually Michal and Jonathan’s Mother. Maybe Saul divorced her, because she married David while he was on the run from Saul. Many details about Ahinoam are unclear.
Ahinoam stuck by David’s side even when he was down. She stood with David through very tough times. He was constantly moving, fighting in wars, struggling to stay alive. Ahinoam was there during the dangerous years when David had to take refuge in Philistine to avoid Saul. Was this because she hated Saul or was it because she loved and was loyal to David? Who knows.
ZIKLAG CAPTIVITY
David lived with Ahinoam in Ziklag for a year and four months. Then, David and his men were traveling north when tragedy struck. The Amalekites attacked their villages. They burned their homes. The Amalekites took their women and children captive.
All of David’s 600 men had established homes in the village they burned. The Mighty Men of David thought they were safe when David found favor with King Achish of Gath. He had allowed them to use the land. Tragically, now their wives and children were taken. These men were mad and grief consumed them.
Fortunately, none of the women and children the Amalekites captured were killed. By that time, David had married his next wife, Abigail. Both Ahinoam and Abigail were captured and hauled away. David’s men turned against him because of this. However, David drew strength from The Lord.
VICTORY OVER THE AMALEKITES
David followed and caught up with the Amalekites. He took back all they had removed from Ziklag. This included Ahinoam and Abigail. David brought every thing and every one who had been lost back to his men. Did I mention that life for Ahinoam wasn’t easy?
A QUEEN AGAIN
Later David moved to Hebron. That was where he was living when Saul died. Not long after he moved to Hebron the people pronounced David King. Ahinoam became Queen Ahinoam of Judah. Her son Amnon was later born in Hebron.
Right after becoming King, David had Michal moved back into his home. Ahinoam, Michal’s Mother, was the woman who bore David’s first born son while Michal remained childless.
ABIGAIL
David’s third wife was Abigail. We have studied their love story in previous lessons. Today we have spoken of how the Amalekites captured Abigail and carried her away. It happened soon after she married David. Of course, he rescued her. Then he brought her back to his home.
It is said that Abigail became the symbol of wisdom and divine providence in David’s reign as King. Her wisdom filled his house. Abigail’s spiritual gifts were abundant. I’m sure they were needed in this royal household. She was wise and beautiful. Her marriage to David was divinely orchestrated. The marriage to Abigail became David’s reward from God for learning to use restraint instead of revenge.
Abigail was a great asset to David’s Kingdom. She brought the wealth she had inherited from Nabal into the palace coffers. This too was added to David’s blessings. Plus, Abigail bore David’s second son, Chileab. Chileab was also called Daniel.
MAACAH – DAUGHTER OF TALMAI, KING OF GESHUR
Geshur was an independent Aramean kingdom to the northeast of Israel. This kingdom was ruled by King Talmai. He had a daughter named Maacah. David made a raid on Geshur. To assure peace, The King of Geshur offered his daughter in a political arrangement to join his Kingdom with David’s Kingdom. As part of that agreement, David took Maacah as a wife.
Meanwhile, the Philistines defeated Saul. Both Saul and his son, Jonathan, died. For the next seven years the Israelites fought with the tribe of Judah. Saul’s kingdom did attempt to rule over Israel during the time of the Philistine threats, but they were defeated. David is now reigning over the southern tribe of Judah.
SONS OF A FUTURE KING
Ammon was born to Ahinoam during this time. Then Abigail gives David a second son named Chileab. David’s third son was Absalom. His mother was Maacah.
Years later, we will learn that Absalom kills his half-brother Ammon. When this happens, Absalom moves back to live with his grandfather, the King of Geshur. He stays there for three years. Later Absalom is accepted back into the house of David only to stage a revolt against his father.
This coup against David failed. Absalom was killed for his treachery. However, the family in Geshur remained part of David’s royal line. Absalom’s daughter, named after Maacah, became a wife of Solomon’s son, Rehoboam. From their marriage came Abijah, a future King of Judah.
HAGGITH
Haggith was David’s fourth wife. Not much is recorded in the scriptures about Haggith, except to say she gave David a son named Adonijah. Hagigah’s name means “festive” or “rejoicing” in Hebrew.
This fourth son born to Haggith, named Adonijah, was later executed by Solomon. This happened because Solomon thought Adonijah was trying to overtake his throne.
ABITAL
This fifth wife was one of the many wives David married while living in Hebron. She is only mentioned a few times in the scriptures.
Abital became the mother of David’s fifth son, Shephatiah. Abital is mentioned in the genealogical lists in both 2 Samuel 3:4 and 1 Chronicles 3:3.
Though not much of her story is told, God considered Abital important enough to record her name in the scriptures of the bible. Reflecting on the happenings of those days, perhaps no word is good.
BATHSHEBA
The story of David and Bathsheba is important. This sad story will be told as we continue to study through the scriptures of The Books of Samuel. Theirs is a well-known story. We will dive into its many details. It is said that David’s relationship with Bathsheba is symbolic of sin and the consequences of sin.
The love story is complex. David’s passion for Bathsheba brought him into a place of complete brokenness. He failed morally. More to the point, he failed spiritually. Though David’s moral failures are vague in the stories of the other wives, they are very clear when it comes to his time with Bathsheba. Many Psalms record his lament. David took Bathsheba in lust. He arranged for the death of her husband. From the act of adultery with Bathsheba, a child was conceived. This son was very loved by David. His grief was unbearable.
AMAZING GRACE AND MERCY
In the story of David’s love for Bathsheba, we learn of God’s amazing grace, forgiveness, and mercy. In considering this story, we will explore the dangers of lust. Even the sin of murder will raise its ugly head. We will see how David, though a great King, cannot cover these sins. He falls on his face before God, a totally guilty man. He pleads for mercy and forgiveness. Through all of this David is writing Psalms. The Psalms of David tell the thoughts of his heart. We will learn how God shows David unlimited mercy.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF SIN
David is forgiven, but he still has to face the terrible consequences from the results of his sins. This brings great suffering into the palace. Bathsheba is suffering worse than anyone. When we get to this part of the story, we want to consider how power can corrupt a man. Psalm 51 was written in this sad time of David’s life.
After God forgave David and Bathsheba, they had another son named Solomon. Solomon became the one destined to build the Temple of God in Jerusalem. Eventually, we will study this time in David’s life. Also we want to look into Solomon’s life after David’s death. Solomon will follow in his Father’s footsteps and become the next King of Israel. His story, like David’s, is full of ups and downs. It is another fascinating study of a godly man caught between faith and his own humanity.
SUMMARY OF DAVID’S MARRIAGES
MARRIAGE ONE
So, what do we learn from all of David’s marriages? Different women taught us different things. Michal clearly shows us that not all stories have fairy tale endings. However, God can take what men mean for wrong and turn those things for good. I like to think Michal realized this somewhere along the way. I hope she found grace and mercy in spite of her cursed life. Micah’s story shows us that a father’s influence on his children can put them under a blessing or a curse. Let’s pray for our nations fathers and the generations to come.
MARRIAGE TWO
Ahinoam’s story shows us that sometimes love doesn’t make sense. It often hurts others without intention. She was a woman who chose to walk through the struggles of life and become stronger. Ahinoam was a woman of ambition and determination. When Saul apparently kicked her out of the kingdom, she had the courage to find David.
Whether good or bad, these struggles she overcame allowed her two terms as a Queen. The final question though is whether or not she became a Queen of love and compassion. If being Queen means wrecking the lives of others, is the title really worth the cost? She apparently had no feelings for her own daughter. Was her hate for Saul so misplaced that she let this happen?
Ahinoam’s life was surely a riddle in many ways. She was able to help David face times of chaos because she knew nothing except how to overcome adversity and move on.
MARRIAGE THREE
We have already spoken of all the goodness of Abigail. She is the only woman in the picture of David’s life that exudes perfection. Even women who face life with faith and obedience sometimes experience troubles and trials though. Remember that Abigail had to contend with the abduction and captivity of the pagan and terrible Amalekites. Life with David wasn’t always filled with days of roses and wine.
Christian women of today face the same problem as Abigail. If they aren’t constantly covered by the protection of The King of Kings, they can become captives of the world. Only that same King can rescue them and bring them back home where they belong.
Abigail blessed David with the son named Chileab, also called Daniel. He was a second son, so if anything happened the the oldest son, David would still have an heir to the throne. Of course, as marriages continued, so did other heirs.
MARRIAGE FOUR, FIVE, AND SIX
Maacah, Haggith and Abital were women who fell victims to global politics. Their marriages to David were more about increasing the Kingdom’s stability and territories than love. Sometimes life gives you a bad deal. These woman had no control over their circumstances. They were mere survivors of a world gone wrong. I think of them as being sold like a piece of property. It seems very sad, but those were the customs of the day. I suppose their life with David might have been much better than the kingdoms they hailed from. Hopefully, they married up.
Some women are capable of taking the lemons of life and turning them into tasty pies. I suspect Maacah, Haggith, and Abital had such talents. Their ability to overcome brought them into a place of honor in the end. Their names are recorded inside the genealogy of Christ, along with all of David’s wives. They are moved from property to true royalty. This alone would make any suffering they endured during life worthy of acceptance in light of eternity.
MARRIAGE SEVEN
Bathsheba was David’s seventh wife. She became the model for the type of woman who could innocently bring havoc upon a man simply because of her physical beauty. Such women are both blessed and cursed. Their choices determine their destiny.
Bathsheba had no choice though. You could pile all of her part of this problem upon David. He was the instigator of the sin.
PENALTY OF SIN
Bathsheba paid dearly for the sins she committed with King David. She lost her first and beloved son. However, I suppose her past helped her to become a better person in the end. That she had to bear this grief resulting from his mistakes might have endeared her to David. He probably wished to help her bear the grief he had brought into her life.
Their second son helped Bathsheba and David to heal. Bathsheba raised Solomon, who was known as one of the wisest men who ever lived. Unfortunately, even the wisdom of Solomon bowed to the idol of physical beauty. Solomon’s foreign wives tempted him to sin with the worship of idols. His Kingdom ended on a sour note.
LIFE CHOICES
There are always two choices, the godly ones and the wrong ones. A wise person will think things through. They will be obedient to their Creator. A foolish person will cave in to the ways of the world. They will trade their soul for disobedience to God.
We all have the same choices as Bathsheba and David. What will we decide?
Every wife of David made him a better King in some unique way. I suppose only God knows all of the ways. As for the rest of us common sinners, our relationships also count for good or destruction. Let’s try to make good choices.
Next week we will continue to follow David through the rest of his most amazing life.
