FATHER’S DAY IN A FATHERLESS GENERATION

Statistics from 2022 claim that 18.3 million American children live their lives without a father figure in the family.  That was three years ago. I’m sure the problem has only increased.  It might be safe to say that we are now existing in a fatherless generation. 

LIFE IN A FATHERLESS GENERATION

This weekend we will celebrate Father’s Day. https://theinseasonlifestyle.com/time-for-everything-fathers-day/. Yet, we are living in times when the once honored concept of fatherhood has become almost invisible.  The  cultural narrative for the last three generations to carry the blessings of good, solid fatherhood has greatly digressed.  It could be we have arrived at a fatherless generation.

Much of this has come from gender wars.  People groups exist who consider those who are celebrating fathers to be ignorant traitors. They call us haters. We often get looked upon as being people with a lack of compassion or love for our fellowmen. Thus, these mistaken groups contribute to the creation of a fatherless generation. How very ironic to see this table turning in such a strange way. 

The truth is just the opposite of this false ideology.  The truth would never allow a fatherless generation to exist. However, truth in today’s culture seems to be irrelevant.  Instead of addressing the problem, those with warped concepts of the identity of a good father have pulled others down to their level of selfish mediocrity.   From lack of acceptable role-models in society, the art of fatherhood has suffered greatly.  Thus, from lack of a good concept of fatherhood, society has suffered in ways we have never suffered before.

PUSHED INTO A DARK CORNER

In many of today’s families, no one is looking upon the father as a highly responsible office.  His place has been pushed into a dark back corner.  Vast numbers of men from this fatherless generation feel completely alienated from their children.

Perhaps this happens for many reasons.  We have only named a few. Economics definitely plays its part. Even highly educated men are sometimes pressed to find enough work to care for a growing family.  The jobs which were once available have been taken over by artificial intelligence.  Machines could care less about whether or not we create a fatherless generation. Many of the capable fathers who are left struggle to make a living. 

Today, the simple act of putting food on the table, providing shelter, power and water can take all of a working man’s pay. Not only that, having to work long hours can zap a father’s energy and time.  Their bring-home pay after high taxes and insurance are deducted seems hardly worth the time and effort.  Thus, a state of hopelessness and depression can lead to immorality, crime and a hardened heart. It can leave a father feeling empty and without the proper amount of love for a growing family. All of this contributes to the concept of a fatherless generation.

WHERE IS THE COMMUNITY?

Churches and communities used to reach out and provide help in such circumstances.  There are still many churches handing out aid, but that is just the point.  They are giving hand-outs instead of hand-ups. 

Men who desire to obtain manly strengths and godly characteristics need a sense of dignity and acceptance.  These traits are rare today, especially in pews seating people who only wish to be entertained, then go home feeling they did “something good” for the rest of the world by providing their presence and a small offering in the plate. 

Real men need compassionate prayer. Fellowship with other men is important. They need a place to feel safe to express their problems and seek solid answers.  The need for common sense and godly counsel is great across American congregations.  Pop-psychology is rampant and is only putting a band aid over real problems that need real solutions.  Men need the solid help and advice of other men who have found the right answers.   

THE WORLD AND MATERIALISTIC THINKING

The world seems to expect a perfect post-card style of provision, or nothing at all.  Women and children, and even the men who would chose to provide better, have become accustomed to thinking that luxuries are necessities. 

All of this materialism has crushed the desire for a man to live with honestly with simplicity.  Media and commercialism have pushed the high-life for so long that many families need lessons on how to survive and thrive.  What used to be basic common sense has dissolved to a new state of total hopelessness for every day success and ordinary happiness.    

 I look around and see so many men who seem to have given up.  They seem unable to help themselves much less raise their families properly.  It appears they have quit trying to be the heads of the home and/or the leaders of the community.  Our culture has taught men to drop their responsibilities and walk away from any situation that might require a little hard work. 

THE SILENCE OF THE FATHER’S VOICE

All across America, the voice of the Father has been silenced in millions of ways.  I suspect it is because the voice of THE Father of All has also been silenced.

In desperation I sought an encouraging voice for today.

One father I know seems to be surviving this cultural disease called “fatherlessness.” His family is full of love and compassion and they thrive under his leadership. I asked him what his definition of a good father would be.  His answer was simple, yet profound.  He said “a loving father carries a loving and compassionate strength.  A woman cannot duplicate this type of strength.  She can love.  A mother can show compassion.  However, she could never provide the strength that a good father would provide to his family.” 

LOVING COMPASSIONATE STRENGTH

This resonated as truth to me.  So, I continued the conversation by asking “Where do men get this loving, compassionate strength?”  His answer was that it could only come from God. 

Thus, it seems a good father is going to be a godly father.  If all men turned to God and allowed Him to grow and define their character, there would only be good fathers in the world.  Ideally, this should happen before these men decide to have families.  Yet, it is never too late for any man to turn and learn God’s best ways to live.   

Where are today’s role-models for this type of thought? These are the men we need to hear from. I pray for their voices to be heard across the earth.

HOW DOES THIS CULTURE CHANGE?

What is it going to take to change this fatherless culture?  For starters, society must realize the importance of fathers again.  It is vital that we remember how to honor, encourage and engage the men of our communities. 

Celebrating Father’s Day is only a tiny step in the right direction.   It is nice to have a Hallmark day to honor those men who have fathered children, but what if we truly honored the concept of true fatherhood?  What if we did this every day of the week? How would our way of living need to change to bring this about?

We can start with family law.  Unfortunately, many of our current laws limit the capabilities of fatherhood.  Fathers are forced to be absent because they are economically estranged when they are demanded to provide more than they are able in child support. 

Instead of encouraging couples to stay together and raise their children in a loving, responsible way, society tends to always take the side of supporting the women of divorce.  Many of today’s courts are totally uncaring toward the men experiencing the same life crisis.  No-fault divorces, despite their definitions, often reward mothers and automatically fault fathers.  This isn’t truly “no-fault” is it?  One may be more guilty than the other, but the truth is that divorce is always the fault of two people. 

DIVORCE IS A TWO-PERSON PROBLEM

Courts grant these divorces quickly, leaving mothers in charge of raising their children on their own. However, the father is forced to pay for everything needed to do so.  Not to shirk the need for fathers to be financially responsible, but wouldn’t waiting periods and enforced marriage counseling be a good thing for the support of the children involved with divorcing parents? 

Leaving a marriage where children have been conceived should be a last and final resort, not just another option.  Children need a father and a mother.  Both parties should be significant and effective in their upbringing.  Couples should take their joint responsibilities seriously and not walk away from them when the going gets tough.

Churches and communities should be less judgmental and more supportive of couples trying to work through marital problems.  It would also be good for communities to provide relief and aid to couples going through economic downturns that are out of their control.  This doesn’t need to become a government hand-out.  It should be neighbors and friends following the two commandments of love God and love your neighbor as yourself. 

HEALING THE FATHERLESS GENERATION 

Sometimes a father facing lack of employment will put the whole family in a place of instability.  If the community supports, encourages, offers training and help to the unemployed, the father is not forced to lose his dignity. 

With people who truly care surrounding him with Christian love, a father has a better chance of piecing it all together again. With just a little more prayer and helpful and dignified relief a father can manage to care for his family.  When encouraged and helped in a dignified manner, a father is much more likely to keep trying. It takes hope and support for him to eventually achieve what his family needs to survive. This should come naturally to people who are following Christ.

We must learn how to heed the words of Jesus which He highly recommended for people living in the last days.  It is called “overcoming.”  Romans 12:21 echo the words of Jesus; “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” John 16:33 offers this hopeful promise: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Here is a place where today’s fathers can gain strength and hope. Here are words all of society must hold on to.

RAISING FATHERS FOR THE FUTURE

How can we change a fatherless society back into a world full of godly fathered communities?  This happens when men chose to answer this call to overcome.  The concept gains strength when the families that they love surround them and support their efforts.  It becomes possible when all of the community is doing the same. 

Families sticking together and caring for one another are a vital part of this equation.  Everyone must do their part. All family members must respect the role of the others. This is especially true when there are struggles and obstacles to overcome.  One of the greatest needs of fathers is to be taken seriously and respected. We can start there.

Together we will stand.  Divided we will fall.  Division of the culture norms for a family is part of the problem.  Let’s get back to bringing things together in a godly way. We could do this instead of helping Satan to tear things apart. 

REBUILDING FAMILY UNITY

 How important is it for this trend of fatherlessness to be changed immediately? What happened to weaken the place of the father in the home in the first place? 

The whole concept of a family with one father, one mother and children has been torn apart and destroyed.  Lose the place of the Father, and you lose the whole family unit.  Maybe it looks like people have chosen to bring this about.  I suspect though this actually began with demonic activity. 

So many innocent people have been used in this ungodly process of dividing families.  Satan knows if he can destroy the family, he can open many other doors of destruction. His goal is always for the complete destructions of humanity.  Today’s thinking plays right into the devil’s to-do list.  I have to ask why society choses to support Satan instead of God?

LET’S GET OUR FATHERS BACK

How do we get our Father’s back?  What do we need to do?

Recently I ran across a website that seems to be making progress in this area of fatherlessness. I’m going to check in on them from time-to-time. I’d like to follow their program to see where it leads. At the present, I have not verified their work. However, if they live up to what they present, they are definitely moving in the right direction.

If you want to dig deeper into this subject of fatherlessness, you might want to check out this link: https://www.ourfatherless.org/whoweare. This could be a way to help. I pray that this group is successful. Their information gives me hope. Perhaps they will encourage other groups to be there for those who are fatherless today.

REFLECTING THE FATHER OF ALL FATHERS

Moving forward, we could begin by looking at the Father of all Fathers.  It is important that young men are taught early that they should reflect the image of God.  This teaching is more effective if it comes from a godly man. Even better, it should be heard from one who has learned how to be a godly father.  If you are this man, step up and become some young man’s role-model.  Show the next generation the way.

How do we begin to find men who desire to reflect God and follow His ways?  There is a prayer we have been reciting for centuries. This familiar prayer begins with the words “Our Father Who Art In Heaven.”  The next words are interesting and critical.  “Hallowed be thy name.”  Show me some men who honor God and stand for holiness.  I’ll show you a whole new world. 

This is how we will find fathers who deserve to be celebrated.  In the meantime, those who truly care should be lifting every father in this nation up to God. We need this prayer request in every prayer of every day.  All should be asking God to teach our fathers what the world has neglected to show them.  It is the key and the first step out of this insanity. We can rise above the fate of a fatherless generation.